Sometimes, people make mistakes. Sometimes, those mistakes deserve to be forgiven. Sometimes, that boy actually does deserve a second chance.

He deserves a second chance if he gives you a genuine apology in person or over the phone, if he says more than a quick I’m sorry. If he doesn’t blame you or his ex or anybody else for doing what he did. If he takes full responsibility for hurting you and sounds like he honestly regrets what he’s done.

He deserves a second chance if he shows you that he’s changed, that he’s ready for a serious relationship with you and is done with the games, done with the back and forth, done with playing the field. If he makes it clear that he’s worked on himself and is ready to accept your love and give love in return.

He deserves a second chance if he doesn’t pressure or guilt you into giving him one. If he doesn’t act like he’s entitled to your love, but is still hoping that you’ll let him back into your life so he can set things right, so he can do what he should have done the first time around.

He deserves a second chance, as long as he’s not going to take advantage of your forgiveness. As long as he’s not going to go right back to doing what made you upset in the first place. As long as he treats you with the respect that you expect.

He deserves a second chance if he looks at you, smiles at you, and kisses you like you’re the only girl that matters in his world. Like he hates himself for all the pain he’s caused. Like your tears are the last thing he ever wants to see.

He deserves a second chance if he swears not to make the same mistakes, if he understands what you need from him and has decided that he can give it to you. If he looks you deep in the eyes and makes promises that you can tell he’s actually going to keep.

He deserves a second chance if the first mistake he made wasn’t unforgivable. If it was something that you’re willing to put in the past and won’t bring up during every future fight. If you’re willing to let go of the problems of yesterday and focus on tomorrow, on what you could be instead of what you were.

He deserves a second chance if you were happier with him than you ever were apart. If most of the time you spent together was filled with laughter, not pain. If you have a gut feeling that you belong with him, if you feel a cosmic pull toward each other that you can’t seem to escape.

He deserves a second chance if you can imagine spending the rest of your life alongside him, if you honestly believe that he isn’t going to do anything to hurt your heart ever again. If you trust him and love him and want him and only him.

It has now been two whole years since I had last heard his voice and even longer still since I’ve had the pleasure of being graced by his warm smile. Has it really been two whole years? Yes, it has and it still hurts like a son of a bitch. It’s time to shed a little light on a subject that not so many people have ever had the horror of dealing with; the death of your beloved Fiancé/Fiancée. No, I’m not talking about a widow and no there is absolutely no difference.

Losing my fiancé has been and will continue to be the most agonizing and trying experience of my life. I remember getting the call (it was a Thursday) that there had been an accident just one day before he was due to be home from his pre-deployment training. Three months before his 20th birthday. And just six months from our Wedding day. The month of March will forever rein infamy in my mind.

The first year after I had lost Josh can be summed up in one simple word. Blurry. The days seemed to mesh together and getting out of bed to face another day seemed like crueler punishment than it was worth. I had blocked so much pain and details of the actual event that I began to doubt my sanity.

Was I dreaming? Was he even real? I wasn’t sure anymore.

All that I knew was my high school sweetheart, my best friend, my Marine was not coming home and I couldn’t understand why.

Being a fiancée I found that I wasn’t as openly recognized as his parents and siblings. No one came to my home to see me. No one left pans of lasagna on my doorstep with a sceawled note to make sure I had eaten. For every one hundred sympathy cards the immediate family received I would hold tightly to ten of my own. I felt like I was being ostracized because we did not yet share a last name. Had I been a “widowed” my support system would have been ten miles high. And that’s the sad truth. I remember being asked by his mother if I thought that it would have been harder if we were actually married. The answer to that is no. Absolutely not, and it truly hurt me to think that this is what people thought.

As if my heart and my entire life weren’t already crushed enough.

An engagement ring on my finger did not automatically and miraculously make my Fiancé more important to me. My love grew for him with each and every passing day and I still find that to be true two years after his death. If I could turn back the hands of time I would gladly and unhesitatingly take his place. I don’t know of a love more pure than that.

We need to put a stop to how society sees us. I was deemed as insignificant being told just a few months after his passing that I am “young,” and that I will “move on.” was most definitely the last thing that I wanted to hear. In all honestly it made me feel about this big.

IT COULDVE BEEN WORSE.

James is walking on a downtown street one day, and he happens to see his old high school friend, Harry, a little ways up ahead. "Harry, Harry, how are you?" he greets his old buddy after getting his attention.

"Not so good," says Harry.

"Why, what happened?" James queries.

"Well," Harry says, "I just went bankrupt and Ive still got to feed my family. I dont know what Im going to do."

"Could have been worse," James replies calmly. "Could have been worse."

 

A month or so later, James again encounters Harry, in a restaurant. "And how are things now?" he asks.

"Terrible!" says Harry. "Our house burned down last night."

"Could have been worse," says James, again with total aplomb, and goes about his business.

A month later, James runs into Harry a third time. "Well, how goes it?" he inquires.

"Oh!" says Harry. "Things just get worse and worse. Its one tragedy after another! Now my wife has left me!"

Harry nods his head and gives his usual optimistic-seeming little smile, accompanied by his usual words: "Couldve been worse."

 

This time, Harry grabs James by the shoulders. "Wait a minute!" he says. "Im not gonna let you off so easy this time. Three times in the past few months weve run into one another, and every time Ive told you the latest disaster in my life. Every time you say the same thing: Could have been worse. This time, for Gods sake, Harry, I want you to tell me: how in Heavens name could it have been any worse?"

 

James looks at Harry with the same little wisp of a smile. "Could have been worse," he says. "Could have happened to me."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~``

THE WORLDS LEADING EXPERT ON EUROPEAN WASPS WALKS INTO A RECORD SHOP

He asks the assistant “Do you have ‘European Vespidae Acoustics Volume 2? I believe it was released this week.”

 

“Certainly,” replies the assistant. “Would you like to listen before you buy it?”

 "That would be wonderful," says the expert, and puts on a pair of headphones.

 

He listens for a few moments and says to the assistant, “Im terribly sorry, but I am the worlds leading expert on European wasps and this is not accurate at all. I dont recognize any of those sounds. Are you sure this is the correct recording?”

 

The assistant checks the turntable, and replies that it is indeed European Vespidae Acoustics Volume 2. The assistant apologizes and lifts the needle onto the next track.

 

Again the expert listens for a few moments and then says to the assistant, "No, this just cant be right! Ive been an expert in this field for 43 years and I still dont recognize any of these sounds."

 The assistant apologizes again and lifts the needle to the next track.

 

The expert throws off the headphones as soon as it starts playing and is fuming with rage. 

"This is outrageous false advertising! I am the worlds leading expert on European wasps and no European wasp has ever made a sound like the ones on this record!"

The manager of the shop overhears the commotion and walks over.

"What seems to be the problem, sir?"

"This is an outrage! I am the worlds leading expert on European wasps. Nobody knows more about them than I do. There is no way in hell that the sounds on that record were made by European wasps!"

 

The manager glances down and notices the problem instantly.

"Im terribly sorry, sir. It appears weve been playing you the bee side."